Pardon me while I snark
The jaw? No better. However, instead of yesterday's cute marble-sized infection, I now look, in three-quarter profile from a left-hand elevation, like Hillary Clinton storing nuts for the winter.

And it hurts.

This morning, did the circuit workout from Friday again, but with only two rounds, as I was short on time.

The ghastly Sandra Lee of Semi-Homemade has haunted my grimmer nightmares for some time (ever since I ran into a link for her "holiday cakes" -- a capital crime against angel food -- last year) but this thread on the Television without Pity forums is marvellous. I don't know how many pages there are to it, but I read through 34 of them, and with each successive post, found myself less and less able to restrain open howls of laughter.

Yesterday, I finished The Great Safari -- the biography of the Adamsons I mentioned the other day. Gah. I was never so glad to close a book on two people in my life. Granted, the author, Adrian House, is decidedly against Joy and clearly believes her a man-eating bitch and tramp -- and decidedly for George, who is painted as a sort of 'manly man of the jungle' -- but I hated them both before I was halfway done. I wasn't in the least surprised to find that Joy was murdered by one of her employees, and I was ready to kill George myself. What a pair.

I mentioned this to A., who said, "That whole generation has always struck me as very odd. 'We love the animals. That's why we shoot them.'" Yes. Couldn't have said it better myself. And of that generation, the ones who went to Africa appear to have been particularly odd. I wouldn't want to take a long car trip with Isak Dinesen (nee Karen Blixen) for instance, either. "The wilderness" appears to be where those of the interwar hot things who couldn't fit in anywhere slunk off to do their madder drinkin', freakin', and f*ckin' around. Oh, and self-indulgent writing about it all.

Oh, I am cranky today. And my face hurts.

A marble and a handkerchief
I have the kind of old-fashioned tooth infection that used to be portrayed thus in silly stage comedies. There's a strange, hot, painful lump in my face, just beside the right side of my nose.

Oddly, though it hurts if I smile, or kiss someone, or speak, it doesn't hurt when I bite down on it -- in fact, chewing something firm and crunchy makes it feel slightly better.

My dentist? I still go to my childhood dentist, seven hundred kilometres (or so) away.

I'd recently seen that a new dentist had moved into the strip mall where my doctor has her office -- large sign on the door reading Taking New Patients. So this morning I called Directory Assistance, and told the automatic recorder that I wanted "the dentist at this address." That caused a moment or two of confusion with the operator, but eventually I got the number, and spoke to a receptionist with a heavy accent. Appointment on Wednesday. I hope the infection doesn't crawl through my sinuses and eat my brain before that.

If I were someone's mother...

You're a punk rock mommy! DIY is probably your
motto, because you're a punk mama at heart.
Your kids are getting your independent spirit
and guts, and learning to solve problems
themselves. You love it when they show their
independence, even when it's breaking your
heart.


What kind of a freaky mother are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
How fortunate are all the children I will not have. I wonder what the beasts think of this?

The Provincial Lady
I did a little search, idly wondering what E.M. Delafield's full name might be.

I found this, quite an interesting page, if amateur in layout (for instance, the information I sought is deeply buried near the bottom of the page, and proves to be Edmee Elizabeth Monica Dashwood, known to friends as Emmie). I'm not quite certain who the owner of Starcourse.org might be, though it seems she (or he) has a family connection. (Stripping the URL has just proved more mystifying than not.)

Anyway.

Today's weight, 132.5 pounds -- moderately cheering, despite consumption of about three ounces of fudge yesterday.

This morning, I thought to do a round of Abs, followed by, perhaps, a session on the stepper... however, on contemplation, I resolved that I needed something a bit more stirring, and decided to do an old favourite circuit routine. It comes from Oxygen magazine, and is attributed, I think, to Kristia Knowles.

There was a lot of sweat around this morning. This was a good switch of dull routine.

Circuit (repeat three times, no rest)
All strength exercises for 15 reps.
All cardio intervals for 1 minute.

Cable Row, V-handle, 50lbs
Jumping jacks
Pushup, bodyweight
Quick step-ups (Reebok step, 2 risers)
DB Stationary Lunge, 37.5lb dbs
Jog in place
DB Bicep Curl with Shoulder Press, 17.5lb dbs
"Skipping" (without rope)
Tricep dip off bench, bodyweight
Quick side steps
Squat, Oly bar, 95lbs
Two-legged hops in place
Abs
round 1: Hanging Knee Raise x25
round 2: Cable Crunch, 40lbs x25
round 3: Ball crunch with 27.5lb DB x25
Do the Twist

Eaten today:
one, a cup of mixed Kashi and Fibre One, with protein shake (flavoured with almond extract and nutmeg); small nectarine; coffee
two, 1/3 cup buckwheat pancake mix, prepped with 1/4 cup each egg white and soymilk, and a dash of lemon juice, served with 2 slices sham (sizzled briefly in hot pancake pan), 1/4 cup Quark mixed with Cool Whip, 2 tablespoons apple butter or sugar-free pancake syrup
three, salad with beans and chicken. Silhouette Vanilla Mousse thing. Sugar-free Minute Maid juice drink -- these are my newest addiction, only I've only been finding them at odd moments in convenience stores in unlikely places, where they cost too much, and don't come in, say, flats or large bottles. This one was Citrus Guava.

Yesterday's remaining meals -- other than the fudge, about which we will say no more --
four, cinnamon oatmeal raisin cake, with Cool Whip/Quark/Jello pudding icing. Lots of pickles.
five, slice pumpernickel with can sardines
six, half-scoop protein powder, 2 tablespoons Quark, coconut extract, Cool Whip; 1/4 cup low-fat vanilla ice cream; two crumbled coconut meringue cookies; tea.

Oh! Fudge!
For a couple of years now, I have endeavoured to conquer one elusive culinary accomplishment -- fudge. Couldn't do it. Mostly I ended up with fudge sauce, though on one particularly frustrating occasion, I got fudge crumbs instead.

Since usually I can make foodstuffs do my bidding in the kitchen, it had become more of a fudge grudge.

I did enjoy one success a few months back with Velveeta Fudge.
From Southern Cooking at about.com:

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened (I used unsalted and would definitely advise that, considering the saltiness of the cheez!)
8 ounces pasteurized process cheese, Velveeta, cubed
1 1/2 pounds confectioners' sugar, about 5 cups unsifted (I used 3 cups unsifted, which made a nice not over-sugary fudge)
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1/2 cup non-fat dry milk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups coarsely chopped pecans or walnuts (I used a 300g bag of choc. chips)

In a large saucepan over medium heat melt butter and cheese cubes together, stirring frequently; remove from heat. Sift together confectioners' sugar and cocoa; add to cheese, mixing well. Stir in non-fat dry milk, vanilla and nuts. (I used a mixer on low-med speed for mixing in the sugar, cocoa, milk powder & vanilla.)

Turn into a 9x9x2-inch pan; chill until firm and cut into squares. Makes about 3 pounds of Velveeta Fudge.

Not only did it have a correctly fudgy texture, it even tasted reasonably good -- at least as good as those other bizarre processed-food candies that tend to turn up everywhere round the Holiday Season -- and not in the least like Velveeta. (Though in fairness I must add that I occasionally noticed a slight smell of processed cheez once or twice when opening the refrigerated container for another piece.)

Anyway. That was that, but it in no way alleviated my burning desire to conquer Real Cooked Sugar Syrup Fudge.

I made a batch last night, from this recipe:

Chocolate Fudge

2 cups sugar
2 ounces chocolate (I used unsweetened)
2/3 cup milk (I used 1%, a bit of that being left over from the cake)
2 tablespoons corn syrup
2 tablespoons butter

Instructions from the recipe (poached from recipesource.com were rather spare, consisting of "Combine and cook over low heat to 240 degrees. Remove and cool to 110. Add 1 teaspoon of vanilla and beat. Spread on buttered dish or pan."

Based on my other reading (I've researched fudge, let me tell you!) I added the following refinements: combined only milk, sugar and corn syrup, and heated till sugar was dissolved. Brought this mixture to a boil, then added butter and chopped chocolate, reduced heat, and cooked to 238? (that being soft-ball stage from other sources). I also added a pinch of salt, since I was using unsalted butter.

Following that, I diverted strikingly from instructions. Instead of letting the mixture cool in peace, I instead added vanilla, let it sit five minutes, and then, as with pralines, beat the heck out of it immediately. It set! It might be a little grainy for Fudge Purists, but I tend to like a more solid, European-style fudge myself, so that was all right.

My only complaint was that it didn't seem "chocolatey" enough. I liked the flavour of the cocoa one I tried to make last Yuletide much better, even though that was, texturally speaking, yet another Fudge Failure.

Randomness
I've just about given up on Pynchon. I brought all several dense pounds of Mason & Dixon home with me, and never cracked it. Fool to think I would, I suppose -- my parents' house is rife with favourite books, and new books, and magazines; plenty of good reading around without warping my head round Pynchon-prose. I'm just a bit cross with myself, since I am enjoying it in a way. I do suspect him of harbouring Joyce-like ambitions of revolutionising literature -- but at least his humour seems nicer than Joyce's.

I went to the library to find more Noel Streatfeild (inspired by re-reading Ballet Shoes at home) but only managed to unearth one (and a particularly lame-looking one at that). Instead, I came home with Mineka Iwasaki's Geisha, A Life (I read Memoirs of a Geisha a few years ago, and liked it up to the ending, which I thought deeply lame). Also Amanda Hesser's Cooking for Mr. Latte. (This intrigued me. There's been a great deal of dissing of Ms. Hesser over on the eGullet forums, dissing which of course I am in no way qualified to participate in one way or another, not being either a professional gastronaut or a New Yorker. So far, I quite like her style; she's opinionated and sometimes probably wrong, so I can relate. On the whole, though, her intentions seem good, and she seems to have a certain degree of awareness of some of her own flaws.)

What else? A biography of Joy and George Adamson. I loved Born Free as a child; it was one of my "regular books" along with (probably not coincidentally) the oeuvre of Gerald Durrell. And something else... oh, yes, the first volume of Kristin Lavransdotter, by Sigrid Undset. I've been running into a lot of references to this series of late, and quite honestly am surprised I've never read it, considering that it was written in the 1920s, is a classic, and appears to cover a whole range of themes that I would have found absolutely irresistible in my teens. (I'm hoping I'll still like 'em now.)

I also had a quiet little rant to myself this morning, when I hit a reference in some blog or other to this appalling travesty. I recall that I thought Gwyneth Paltrow as Emma was the nadir of bad. (Well, to paraphrase Opus, "lord, she wasn't good.") But Paris Hilton? Starring? As anyone, let alone key figure in literary adaptation? Shoot me now. No, better yet, shoot her.

What is this stupidity? All anyone has to do these days, it seems, is make a public spectacle of themselves, and there they are -- instant star. Whatever happened to talent?

Sleep. Wake.
As always, after a visit to the family home, my sleep cycle is all awry. During the day, I feel as though I haven't so much as put my head to a pillow for months. At night, I lie awake feeling hot and cursing the dog lying heavily across my legs.

Today's weight: 133 pounds. Yesterday's weight: same. I feel all soft and chunky. Yesterday's exercise consisted of a thirty-minute Pilates video (morning), and fifteen minutes on the step-thing (evening). This morning, went for a run of ten klicks or so. I was not in a running mood; sore, achy and heavy-feeling. Still, I did it. A. came with me for Part One, then took off for an extra loop. I felt guilty for not joining him, but needed the time to get ready.

The freshly-installed faucets on the upstairs bath went boom! so we are temporarily bathless. Had to shower at work, for one thing, and prep the usual foods. Eaten today:
one, a cup of mixed Kashi Crunch and Fibre One, with protein shake; nectarine; green tea.

two, egg sandwich made of 1/3 cup egg white, one egg, fat-free cheez slice, slice of sham, 2 pieces Ezekiel bread. Coffee. Oh, coffee. Either I need to sleep more, or the coffee-maker will come out of its retirement in the basement.

three, same salad I've been eating the last few days -- Romaine, grape tomatoes, with the bean/chicken concoction on top. Another nectarine.

After that, sorta open. I've got a meeting tonight (blech), and should do abs some time this afternoon.

Yesterday's eating -- let's see if I can recall.
one, 1/2 cup egg white, egg, chives, with That Sauce on top; slice pumpernickel cut neatly in three, with, respectively: tablespoon apricot spread, teaspoon almond butter, tablespoon cook cheese a-top.

two, 1/4 cup 8-grain cereal (cooked) with dried apples and sugar-free caramel syrup (must make trip to Toronto soon for replenishment of syrup supply); protein shake.

three, salad concoction; last of fancy sugar-free yogourt dessert things (cookies and cream flavour, not so nice as creme brulee).

four, cinnamon-raisin oatcake with Quark/Jello pudding/Cool Whip goop on top. Quite a lot of pickles. (I bought two jars of my mother's favourite pickles on my way out of town, since last I heard, she couldn't get them at her usual spot. Turned out they'd reappeared -- which meant I could bring mine back with me. I'm uncommonly fond of them, myself.)

five, 75g can smoked tuna, Pindjur, cook cheese, on top of slice and a half of pumpernickel; broccoli with teriyaki sauce; piece of A.'s vegetarian sushi. Square of new kind of Belgian chocolate I spotted at Fancy Deli: 70% cocoa solid, brand called Isis. Not so hot; lacked subtlety. Got the bitter, got the sugar, nothing else. I don't particularly care for any of the "flavour notes" of the various Valrhonas (for instance) that I have tried, but admit that they did get me looking for them in other chocolates.

six, protein powder mixed with Jello pudding powder, soymilk, coconut extract, and Cool Whip, turned into very fancy affair with half a banana (sliced), 2 crumbled toasted-coconut meringue cookies, couple spoonfuls vanilla ice cream.

Things I miss through hating country music
The drinkin' bone is connected to the party bone
The party bone's connected to the stayin' out all night long
And she won't think it's funny
And I'll wind up all alone
And the lonely bone's connected to the drinkin' bone
Fragment of lyric (I use the term loosely) heard while desperately station-surfing in the vicinity of Brockville late-ish on Friday night. My brother and I glanced at each other in frank astonishment, then burst into howls of laughter. Apparently this travesty was committed by a person by the name of Tracy Byrd.

I do hope one day to be able to put a CD player into Grishilde, even though that would deprive me of these Culturally Edifying Moments.

We had a nice time. I think our mother was glad we came, and the cake was perfection.

Naturally, after a cold and dank summer, Friday was probably the warmest day of the year. I fretted about the cake while I drove to Toronto... fretted about it more as I crawled through construction to my brother's place... graduated to frank worry, and visions of buttercream rosettes slumping sideways, as we crept among the commuters along Highway 7... and finally stopped in Whitby and bought several bags of ice, which I tucked round the cake box in an enveloping large garbage bag.

When we arrived around ten p.m., the cake was still frozen quite solid. This being my family, no one showed the slightest inclination to go to bed. At midnight, my mother said sadly, "It's my birthday now, and I can't even have a slice of cake! It's still frozen, and I was hoping to have a piece of my cake." My brother suggested microwaving it (a notion which I protested in the strongest terms).

So my mother didn't get her slice of cake until lunchtime on her birthday. Though she complained that it was very rich, she ate a slice every day -- as did we all.

Today's weight (ahem): 130.5 pounds. I lived on cake, and slices of heavy black pumpernickel with various cheeses, mostly. Oh, and Polish fudge. I have decided that even if I give that evil Polish fudge as presents, it should be as presents to people whose houses I am not staying in. My mother offered it around, and I took her a bit literally. Exercise: one run, of about 5 kilometres. Go me.

Then, last night, we drove back. It was a loooooong drive, and the latter half of it into the sun. We'd been going to have dinner in Toronto, but somehow by the time we got there, the subject didn't come up. Thus, when I got home, I was starving -- and finished my day with a Blizzard. Excellent work!

I spent Sunday afternoon with my dear friend M. -- we went to The Bay so she could buy some shoes for her trip, and I spent a dispiriting amount of time trying on clearance-sale brassieres that didn't fit (my new lats have, once again, put me into that unfortunate in-between size of bra).

Today: ran probably another 5K this morning.

Eaten:
one, buckwheat pancakes (made with soymilk and an egg white) with 2 oz chicken done bacon-style, Quark and Cool Whip, sugar-free apricot jam, and/or syrup;

two, 1/3 cup barley flakes, cooked and eaten with caramel sugar-free syrup, three chopped dried apricots, and a protein shake;

three, salad of Romaine, carrot, tomato (prepped by A. at some point during the weekend and nicked by me), topped with another salad item I made this morning, of thawed frozen green beans and a can of mixed beans and various vinegar and seasoning things; also three ounces chicken; also this new thing called Delicioso, a rather decadent sugar-free yogourt dessert thing. I found them at a store at home, and picked up a package.

four, oatcake with raisins and cinnamon, with a topping of Jello pudding powder, Quark and Cool Whip.

Various coffees and green teas and Diet Cokes have also been poured down. No water, though; I forgot my bottle today.

No weight-lifting this week; I just finished the ninth week of Power/Rep Range/Shock, so a pause to refresh, then back on it this Sunday.

S'posed to go and see Hero tonight. I know nothing about this film, other than that it's supposed to be very good, and that it led to a long and peculiar conversation with several people the other day, when someone mentioned "that new film with Bruce Lee's son."

Beyond decadent, and a trick of the light
I had to go downstairs for something. I passed the front office, and did a double take. There was a movie star in our office!

It wasn't, of course. In fact, it was my supervisor, who is normally an ordinarily nice-looking guy. Something about the particular blue shirt he was wearing, the way he was standing, and the illumination had conspired to transform him, for that one odd instant, into a Vision of Masculine Beauty. Very odd.

I long to make these -- recipe from
I was just really very hungry. A. would hate me. I would hate myself. But oh! they look delicious! Perhaps for the Yuletide Gift Baskets.

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups
(Recipe slightly edited, but any whimsy of phrasing is courtesy Makiko Itoh, of IWJRVH.)

350g / 12 oz (about 2 cups) smooth peanut butter
1 cup of salted roasted peanuts
225g / 8oz (about 1 cup) icing sugar
50g / 1.8oz (about 1/4 cup) brown sugar, or raw sugar
500g / a bit more than a pound, of dark chocolate, minimum cacao 50%
90g / 3oz unsalted butter

Supplies needed: shallow paper cups, plastic zip bag

Chop up the peanuts with a knife or in the food processor.

Put the peanut butter, 60 grams/2 oz (two thirds) of the butter, peanuts, and both sugars in a sturdy plastic zip bag. Press the air out of the bag and close it. Knead and mix the bag until the contents are completely mixed and smooth.

Once the mixture is well-combined, press it down towards one corner. Cut off that corner with scissors, and twist the bag - now you have a sort of pastry bag.

Squeeze about a tablespoon worth of the peanut butter mixture into each paper cup, smoothing out the top of each with your finger. Each cup should be about 1/2 full. It's easier if you keep each cup in the stack of other paper cups for stability while you fill them.

Once the peanut butter mixture is all used up, make the chocolate topping. Break up the chocolate into a bowl. Melt it in the microwave at medium for about 3 minutes. Check at this point; if the chocolate is still hard, mix and nuke for about 1 minute more. Add the rest of the butter, and nuke for another 30 seconds. Mix the chocolate and butter well with a spoon until smooth.

Fill up each cup with the chocolate, smoothing out the top with your finger or a knife. Try not to lick your fingers during this whole process, unless of course you plan to eat all the cups by yourself, in which case it probably doesn't matter.

Cool in the refrigerator until the chocolate is firm, about 1 hour. Store in the refrigerator until all consumed.

Makes about 24 cups.

Note: if you would rather not put in peanuts, increase the amount of peanut butter by about 1/2 cup, and add about 1/2 teaspoon of salt. You can also use chunky style peanut butter, increasing the amount by about 1/2 cup.

G'bye, summer
Such as it was. It is most definitely autumnal out there today: chill, rainy, brown leaves scudding down the damp streets. I wore a sweater, but should've added a jacket.

Today's weight: 129.5 pounds. Rose at the usual appalling hour, and did Abs, followed by twenty minutes on the stepper.

Abs, Shock Week, tempo 313/101, no rest.

Superset:
Cable Crunch, 40lbs x15, 15
Hip Raise, b/w x15, 15

Superset:
Hanging Knee Raise, b/w x15, 15
Twisting Crunch, b/w x15, 15
Notes: two different "twisting" crunches, first stationary, legs bent and laid to side on floor, torso flat, second a sort of bicycle, reaching down to the foot with the opposite hand at each repetition.

Weighted Swiss Ball Crunch
55lb DB x10, 10, 10

I don't wanna talk about yesterday, 'cos I crashed and burned, but in the interests of Accountability, I shall. Take that! the entire Web can see you poking through the fridge, missy. Went out after work in search of insoles to revivify my flattening running shoes, and thus was late home -- and late for a meal. Trouble! Plus, I'd got an email just before I left work reminding me of a meeting I had to attend that evening. More trouble.

So I felt like I "didn't have time" to make a proper supper, though I needed one, having already missed a meal... so I nibbled. Protein shake/chocolate pudding/peanut butter/Quark goo, with Cool Whip and some low-fat chocolate ice cream. A bit more chocolate ice cream. Oo! there's some chocolate in the drawer! Two squares of Ritter Sport. Coffee. Still hungry. Some pickled beets. Still "hungry," but have definitely eaten enough.

Then off to the meeting. Where I ate part of a brownie. Then home, starving and on a sugar crash. Made myself a little whole wheat pita with Pindjur and some veggie pepperoni and some cook cheese. Then thought "a little dessert" and ate the last square of Ritter Sport. Then absently picked up the box of Kashi Crunch and ate all of it. There was only about a half cup left in the bottom of the box, but still. Idiot, me.

Am trying to do better today, though I have rehearsal tonight as well.

one, omelette with quarter-cup egg white, one whole egg, 2 tbsp Pindjur, ditto cook cheese. Two slices Ezekiel bread with sugar-free apricot spread. Green tea.

two, quarter-cup 8-grain cereal with some chopped dried apples, and a protein shake mixed with a bit of soymilk. Cup coffee.

three, cup green beans, chopped green onions, hot pepper threads, 3 oz chicken, Asian teriyaki marinade. 5 oz. sweet potato, sliced and doused with a creamy thing made of a tablespoon Quark, five-spice powder, and sugar-free vanilla syrup.

I think I will make oatcakes when I get home. I should squeeze in a workout, too. Tomorrow I leave on my little weekend journey, and I'll have to work out before that, too.