Reading while eating
Time for the tally: 1390 calories, 136g protein, 104g carbs (23g fibre), 35g fat.

Other things eaten today were lunch, which was a salad with a 75g can of smoked tuna and tofu mayo dressing, followed by half an oatcake with Quark, and supper. Supper was the zucchini/soy protein cakes again, with -- I bet you thought I was going to say "ocean perch", didn't you? No, last night was the end of the ocean perch fishery in my freezer. Two and three-quarters of an ounce chicken, with sauteed mushrooms (4), and onion (1 ounce) and a lot of paprika and a bit of tofu cream -- Chicken vaguely Paprikash. And then there was either dessert or Meal Six, another of my Nameless Messes, flax fibre, a tablespoon of peanut butter, and a dash each of soymilk and chocolate sugar-free syrup.

I got a bunch of other books from the library as well (thank goodness) to nourish my current wild reading kick. One was The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency, by Alexander McCall Smith -- a book which I have seen highly recommended on all sorts of Webby places I frequent. I finished that, too, after my oatcake. It's quite funny, light, heartwarming, and full of the Quaint Native Charms of Africa. I liked it, and will probably instantly forget most of it.

The others were the South Beach Diet Cookbook, Bill Walsh's Elephants of Style, and Alan Garner's The Weirdstone of Brisingamen.

The last I think I read for the first time when I was about seven, and I have to periodically re-read it. I think I have bought myself about three or four copies of it, only I keep lending (giving!) them away to people, saying, "You must read this!" Well, they must. Especially if they think Harry Potter is the summit of young adult fantasy.

The SBD Cookbook is a bit of a disappointment; here I was hoping for some fresh ideas, but their philosophy appears to be, "Can't have carbs? Have cheese!" which is hardly helpful.

And Elephants -- oo, I wish I hadn't got that one. Cos now I'll want it with a wild insatiable lust. I love crotchety grammar books.

Orright. I'm off to read in bed. No, I never did get to Twilight Samurai, which is a shame, as I'll have to return the thing bright and early on my way to work tomorrow.

Pooped again
Worst Chest Workout Ever award goes to today's session, thanks to me being an idiot, and reading a book I got from the library until well after I should've been down in the gym. And thereby missing my Nourishment Window.

And I was hating the book, too. It was Frances Kuffel's Passing for Thin, which according to the cover blurb is about "losing half my weight and finding myself."

Well, I was interested in the premise, because of course I've lost nearly half my weight, and found out all sorts of things, and I therefore wondered about Frances' experience.

Unfortunately, she just pissed me off. She described, in loving, gluttonous, gorge-rising detail her years of surreptitious stuffing, wandering about her parents' house with stolen food stuffed in her cheeks and into folds of laundry, then subsequently eating herself senseless in a dark, grotty apartment which served no other purpose than to hold her 300+ pound self as she called for takeout from the bed, ate it, then went to sleep (without, presumably, brushing her teeth -- she says she didn't even do her dishes). Then she found Overeaters Anonymous, and in between bouts of self-hatred, mixing bowls full of salad, and wistful reminiscences about food she had known, lost weight and became slim and more or less hot.

I think I've been spending too much time at Big Fat Blog. I think -- I don't know. I just resented the book -- resented it for supporting all of the "Obesity Crisis" idiots parping about how all these fat slugs do is obsessively chow down greasy junk, and if they'd just eat healthy foods they could all be thin and stop being a blight on the American landscape.

Bullshit, I say. There are tons (er, pardon the pun) of fat people who are not repulsive in their overeating, who do not have longstanding "habits" of using food as a barbiturate (as Ms Kuffel insists she did), who do eat healthy foods -- maybe a bit more than they "should" (or should as fat people; thin/normal people can "overeat" and it's just fine and dandy), but not necessarily in outrageous amounts -- and are still fat.

By the end, Kuffel is thin, and looking for lurve; she has a rather rocky experience with MatchDotCom and online dating -- but it's easy to see why. Her true love, her lost love, is and always will be her food. She speaks of food with far more passion than she ever does of her rather abstract dates and sort-of boyfriend.

Annoying. And yet I read it, the whole thing, hoping that somewhere, somehow, she'd really learn something from all this, become likeable instead of fragile and somehow shallow. But she never did.

Anyway. Workout. Chest and shoulders,Rep Range week, tempo 212, rests 90 seconds.

DB Floor Press
WU 15lb PB x8
Work 35lb PB x8, 8, 8
Notes: Made target reps, but barely. It gets worse, though.

Incline DB Press
WU 15lb PB x8
Work 25lb PB+Add x10, 10, 8
Notes: Third set, hit the "bonk". All downhill from here. I am stupid.

DB Flye
WU 10lb DB x8
Work: 25lb PB x 11, 10
Notes: I don't even want to look up how I did on these last time. This sucked.

Single-Arm DB Press
WU 10lb DB xR4/L4
Work 25lb PB xR7/L7, L7/R7

Rear Lat Raise on Incline Bench
WU 5lb DB x8
Work 15lb PB x10, 10, 10-ish
Notes: Though I sort of did target reps, I was not happy with these at all.

Cable Side Lat Raise
Work 2.5lb xR12/L12, L12/R12
Notes: What's the point of doing a warmup when you are using ONE plate, the smallest you have, for your workset? Gah, these are depressing.

Total lifting time, 40 minutes to the minute. Then, because I already felt like crap and should've eaten forty minutes ago, I still, of course, had to go up to the school and run football-field sprints. Ten of them. A. came along and brought the dog, and played ball with him while I ran. By the time I'd done that, I was dazed and staggering, and whining incessantly to A. about "what carb to have", because I become completely irrational when my blood sugar is down, and such things as what to eat become Huge, Looming Issues of Major Importance.

So I came home and stuffed the entirety of one of the oatcakes, hastily smeared with Jello pudding icing, into my maw. Because it was there, and the thought of making -- anything -- was bringing me near to tears at that point.

Sometimes I hate my body. This is one of the things losing weight has done for me -- arsed up my blood sugar. No. I sound bitter, but I'm not. I'm just feeling fat and bitter today.

On a completely other note, a hospital in Toronto called, and said they had openings to do the MRI on my pesky bosked-up knee. When? Well, they do all their scans between midnight and the morning shift.

Five a.m. this Monday morning. In Toronto. I can hardly wait.

Shocked, I am truly shocked
We have an Irish student, just starting today, for a work/exchange program.

She is wearing:
1) a tight polyester chalk-stripe shirt,
2) extremely low-rise, tight-fitting shiny grey satin polyester clubbin' pants, and
3) a cute blue thong, clearly visible at the intersection of the above.

So this is office-wear of the future is it?

I sure do hate life today
Weight: 130.5 pounds. Temperature: 97.6?F.

Why am I doing this again? S'wounds! Yes, yes, water retention, maybe need enema, whatever -- I should bloody well be lower than that by now!

Grrrr-umble.

At any rate, however, if that's what I get, I am not giving up my fecking Splenda. Breakfast: 1/4 cup 8-grain cereal, vanilla extract, cinnamon, 2 tablespoons soymilk; 1 cup egg substitute with teriyaki sauce -- yes, with Splenda.

So the hell with this noise. I'll carry on till Friday, then Friday A. and I are going out to eat at the new Indian restaurant -- where I am going to order whatever I please -- and after that I am going to a friend's birthday party, where I will also eat whatever I please. Then I will start carb/calorie cycling come Saturday: 3 days at what I've been doing, 1 day with an extra hundred or so grams of carbs.

Today I have to go off to the hospital for my bone scan mid-morning. Then I believe I will do my chest and shoulders workout, rest Thursday, and do back on Friday. It is a plan. I want to sit down and watch Twilight Samurai properly, too, before I have to return it tonight.

The Indian dinner is in celebration. A. made it through his military interview yesterday with flying colours, and was told he might be starting his training as early as November. Apparently he is "ideal medic material" and they think him highly qualified and motivated. His fitness test is today.

I suppose for the sake of my records I should note the remainder of what I ate yesterday, boring though it was... post-abs, protein shake and 1/4 cup of buckwheat pancake mix (with 2 tablespoons egg sub) cooked with a handful of wild blueberries, eaten with a sprinkle of cinnamon and "butter" stuff. Dinner was zucchini cakes and ocean perch again, only I had salsa on the zucchini cakes and 5 ounces of ocean perch, because that's what was left in the freezer. Final meal was 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1/4 cup Quark, a dash of vanilla and stevia extract, and 1/4 ounce walnuts. Think that's it.

Oh, and I made myself another batch of oatcakes, very plain ones, with no Splenda in them, only another little dash of stevia. They will be very austere, I'm thinking.

And the house is simply buzzing with flies. We keep the balcony door open so that the cats and dog can go out and broast themselves in the sun round mid-day when we're not home, which lets all sorts of small leggy critters in. Think I'm going to get a couple fly stickies and hang them up in the kitchen; the stupid insects are driving me mad.

Totting up
1464 calories, 165g protein, 121g carbs (22g fibre), 26g fat.

Did a round of abs after work:
Weighted crunch, Swiss ball
25lbs x12, 35lbs x12, 45lbs x12

Russian twist on ball
10lb DB x10/side, 10/side

Side bends, 10lb DB
10/side

Hip raises, on bench
3x15

Rented a movie called Twilight Samurai which looks really good, unfortunately fell asleep during crucial bit of plot. A. finishing watching it. I'm going to bed.

Sucking air, for the air sucks
Weight today: 128 pounds. Temperature: 97.7?F.

Went out this morning with A. and the dog, and we ran down to Victoria Park (about four or five kilometres, I think). Air like a wet sponge, thick and unsustaining.

We walked back, through the streets instead of the trail. We were tired, the dog was tired, and I was sneezing my head off with allergy.

Breakfast was a couple slices Ezekiel bread, half a cup egg substitute, 2 slices veggie ham, and "tofu hollandaise" (tofu mayo, nutritional yeast, a shot of yellow mustard, some soymilk, whisked together and heated) all assembled into a distant relative of Eggs Benedict. And green tea. And sour shot.

Next meal is another smoky spaghetti squash frittata, only with just tofu cream on it -- no syrup. Lunch is a salad, 1.5 ounces chicken, half an oatcake, and "icing" made of Quark, the coffee powder and a bit of stevia. (There is still Splenda in the oatcake though. How can I give up Splenda? Augh.)

I need another cup of tea.

The usual "what I et today"
Calories: 1359. 120g protein, 134g carbs (20g fibre), 27g fat.

Dinner was 6 ounces of zucchini and an ounce of onion, grated up and mixed with 2 tablespoons soy protein as I did with the kohlrabi, and cooked into little brown cakes. With tofu mayo on them, and 4 ounces (frozen weight) of ocean perch beside them. Then 2 tablespoons Quark, Jello pudding powder, and a quarter-ounce of walnuts.

I suspect that what I should do, rather than introducing the carb-ups at this early date, is instead dump the toxic white pile of Splenda from my diet. Only the thought causes me so much pain that I am trying to evade it. Things will become so much more boring in the eating department, without my sugar-free syrups.

Still, I really should bite the (tasteless, sad-on-the-palate) bullet and do it, and see what that does, before abandoning my hypocaloric diet so soon.

Sprints, with Dog
I only got nine sprints this time, because Onyx got bored. First, he started dragging the leash around the field, and plopping it pointedly at my feet as I was mid-dash.

Then he took off, and into the open door of a portable where a couple of guys were setting up desks. So I had to stop sprinting, get him out, and then play Kill the Leash and Swing the Dog.

Today's workout: Arms. It is the second day of Rep Range week, rests a pretty consistent 60-90 seconds, tempo 212.

I shuffled up tris and bis this time for a change, alternating. So some things were encouragingly strong, others not so encouraging, depending.

Weighted Bench Dip
WU b/w x8
Work 35lb PB (in lap) x8, 8, 8

Alternating DB Curl, reverse grip
WU 5lb DB x8/8
Work 15lb PB+Add x8/8, 9/9

Cable pushdown (rope attachment)
WU 10lb x8
Work 32.5lbs x3 + 30lbs x6, 25lbs x9
Notes: Yep, it is harder with the rope attachment than the short bar. How embarrassing.

Cable curl
WU 5lbs R8/L8
Work 10lbs R10/L10, L8/R8
Notes: I can never believe how lousy I am with these. Assists on upward portion of last rep, each hand, both sets. (Is that "concentric" or "eccentric"? I can never recall.)

Tricep Kickback
WU 5lb DB R8/L8
Work 15lb PB L12/R12, R12/L12
Notes: I did these standing, legs triangled, other arm braced on same leg, and that seems to be much more stable, oddly, than the bench. I think, and have thought before, that our bench is a bit too high for me.

Incline DB Curl
WU 5lb DB x8
Work 15lb PB x9+3, 7+1
Notes: must do these at highest incline. Tried them before, lower, and they hurt my shoulders. Odd. They felt really easy until the "+", then suddenly, boom! Had to pause, just to squeeze out that one extra rep.

Total lifting time: 40 minutes. Soundtrack: mostly hitting Repeat on Ludacris' Stand Up. A workout goes pretty fast when you are boogeying.

Postworkout snack: mixed my lemon juice with a bit of stevia, pectin and unflavoured whey protein -- oh, and some lemon extract -- for a Lemon Shake, shot cider vinegar (whoo! ecchhh!), and am having 4 tablespoons of 8-grain cereal, cooked up, with a bit of almond syrup, therein.

I thought of having a half-cup of Kashi Crunch. Then didn't know if I should go there.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news
Today's weight: 129 pounds. Temperature: 97.3?F.

The results of my blood tests are in. Apparently I have the hormone levels of a prepubescent girl. The doctor now wants to refer me to an endocrinologist, but I told her to wait until November. (She was none too impressed with the notion of me cutting down my bodyfat again, let me tell you.) I'm also interested to see what the bone scan will have to say, now that I'm doing less distance running and more weights.

Three meals either down or ready:
Meal one: one cup egg sub with a couple tablespoons of salsa, and 4 ounces sweet potato done up as oven fries and dipped in the sauce that shall not be named. Green tea. Sour shot.

Meal two: smoked spaghetti squash frittata with tofu mayo and syrup and flax, again.

Meal three: salad with 1.5 ounces of chicken, tomatoes, roasted red peppers and basil; half an oatcake with Quark/Jello pudding icing.

A lot of green tea drunk down, and a mug of coffee. We'll see if adding some carbs back into lunch helps with the afternoon workout bonk problem; mind you, today is Arm Day, so it's not much of a test. I do plan to do sprints afterwards, though.

I'm brooding on the notion of switching up to a calorie cycle perhaps next week. I hadn't planned to do so until four or five weeks in, but jeesh! I'm tired of watching the scale just sit there. Or I might just do a modest carb-load in the next couple days, temperature or no temperature. I've certainly been feeling a lack-of-carbs kind of drag the last week or so.

Maybe I'm being too impatient. That was my trouble the last time, impatience. Hm. I will consider further.

One day, chewed away by a dog
Feels like I've done nothing much at all. Leg workout, big deal. Spent the rest of it sitting on the porch going through a heap of books and trying to keep Destructo-Boy from doing too much damage. As it is: pansies growing in one urn, eaten, and railing of porch steps decidedly more rickety than it was. And I finished Thomas the Rhymer, Sandy Johnson's The Book of Tibetan Elders, and Scion of Gil, the third book of Rebecca Bradley's series.

(Now that whole series can go in the Books to Sell pile. I sort of almost like them, but not quite.)

Now, for some reason, I am rereading Swiss Family Robinson, or, Prigs in Paradise.

Dinner was a pile of broccoli, three and a quarter ounces chicken, teriyaki sauce and quite a lot of habanero sauce, followed by a pumpkin/flax/sugar-free syrup mash with a quarter-ounce of walnuts on it.

Which brings the daily totals to 1341 calories. 145g protein, 124g carbs (25g fibre), 27g fat.

Feeling most discouraged today. Muscle? I have muscle? I must be mad. Why am I doing this again? And why am I not losing any fat yet? I've suffered for over two weeks here -- I should be positively wraithlike by now!